The Eejit Stage of Evolution

or

Why intelligent life may never be found

Denis Titchenell

Is there a sentient voice out there and one we could detect?

We aimed our scopes into the void in search of intellect

 

Then one day I beheld a stream from what might well be worth

Pursuing with some scrutiny—a place they called the Earth

Sing hey de la-dy did-dle dee dee a toast to pla-net Earth

 

At first it took some fiddling for Their ways we did not know

Then inspired tweaking solved it and we watched the Lucy Show

 

With Gunsmoke and Ed Sullivan, a childish world, no doubt

But not devoid of value as I slowly figured out

Sing hey de la-dy did-dle dee dee I slowly figured it out

 

With Shakespeare, Dickens, Wilde and Shaw some isles had made their mark

That continent had Twain and Cheers (in primetime after dark)

 

I’ve studied how their world went wrong and what the cause might be

By listening to their radio and what they called TV

Sing hey de la-dy did-dle dee dee they loved to watch TV

 

For ages now no signal’s come from out the Milky Way

To assure us Earth’s folk braved the storm and still live there today

 

We followed raptly all they did and sought to find out why

With all their wit and wisdom they had let their planet die

Sing hey de la-dy did-dle dee dee they let their planet die

 

It seems that no amount of sense can lunacy outweigh

When service to the ego trumps what nobler minds would say

 

‘Twas greed and megalomania self-righteousness and gall!

If they’d only failed to light the fire of intelligence at all

Sing hey de la-dy did-dle dee dee the mind destroyed it all

 

Is there a sentient voice out there and one we could detect?

Again we scour the sky in vain in search of intellect

 

In all the milliard specks out there, there seems to be a dearth

of consciousness. We had such hopes when we discovered Earth

Sing hey de la-dy did-dle dee dee a toast to pla-net Earth

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